Standard Pakistani response template

Dear Prime Minister Manmohan Singh/ Atal Bihari Vajpayee / Narasimha Rao / Rajiv Gandhi , 

Pakistan strongly condemns / is shocked by / is pleasantly surprised with the success of our "freedom fighters" in the loss of dozens / hundreds / thousands / millions of innocent lives in the bomb blasts / sniper attack / hijacking / religious riots / other disaster that occurred in a busy marketplace / train / housing colony / Indian parliament building / an upper-class hotel / temple in Mumbai / Delhi / Kashmir / Assam / Punjab / Gujarat / Other .

The Pakistani citizens / soldiers / "freedom fighters" / "friendship agents" / students who were caught red-handed / found dead at the scene of the crime / convicted of the crime are actually undercover Indian / American / Israeli agents. Any Pakistanis proven to be guilty of terrorism will be rewarded handsomely / dealt with severely / promoted to Lt. Colonel / given a new Indian passport and sent back toIndia/ handed over to the Americans as proof of our commitment in the war on terror.

There are no Pakistani army-funded training camps / terrorist camps / madrasaas in Azad Kashmir / Afghanistan / Nepal / Bangladesh . The satellite images / photographs / eyewitness accounts / videotaped confessions obtained by the Indians is fraudulent / fake / inconclusive / are actually from Indian terrorist camps and part of a larger RAW / CIA conspiracy to destabilize the Pakistani government by stalling democracy / encouraging sectarian violence / undermining Pakistani institutions / causing the next military coup in Pakistan . A destabilized Pakistani government / mafia could cause Pakistan to become a dangerous nuclear WalMart / Target / Seven-Eleven and a terrorist breeding ground / university / research lab that would be worse for the world.

We hope this will not derail the peace process started with the recent India-Pakistan cricket series / Lahore bus yatra / Muzafarabad-Srinagar road opening / Bollywood peace concert / open borders initiative / other confidence-building measures . We look forward to justifying further attacks against innocent civilians / resolving the core issue of Kashmir/ developing best-of-breed plausible deniability defenses.

We stand by / are plotting against our Indian brethren in their hour / days / years / decades of pain.

Signed,

Asif Ali Zardari [alias Mr. 10%] / Parvej Musharraf/ Nawaj Sharif/Benazir Bhutto
President, Pakistan / Prime Minister/ Chief Operating Officer, Taliban Inc . / General, Pakistani Army

It was indeed a big dark cloud passing...

I guess I erred last year same day when I wrote a post summarizing the year. I mentioned that it was a dark cloud passing, but I was wrong it was big dark cloud just entered and hope it passes by completely now. 2009 started where 2008 had left the things, only dates changed and nothing else.

The recession became heavier and then everyone felt the heat. Pay cuts, firings and many more were on their way. The software industry’s honeymoon was over and people were treated just like a pack of garbage, that’s how they were thrown away. The glooming days were just starting and everyone was looking for the light at the end of the tunnel… Every one was praying the tunnel shouldn’t be another year long. Something just happened, there was a fake economic boost and people started believing the same and fell for it. That was just a small plot to get the votes and to rule India for another five years, no need to saw people fell for it like a bunch of insects falling right into the insect buster.

It didn’t take long though the last quarter shown some signs of recovery and there was hope towards the coming year. There were reversal of pay cuts and promotions given and every company has promised hikes in the coming year. That’s why everyone is looking forward to the 2010. Other than economy there were many other things that caused a scare, swine flu was one of the major things that left people clueless. There are many more things other than this also but those things you can find on any papers what this year was with respect to sports and blah blah blah… I don’t want to waste my time writing that let the New Year be something similar to 2007 which was the best year in this whole decade I believe. 2007 gave hopes after the Tsunami in 2006. Let 2010 be something similar to 2007, so that it can give hope and cherishing life after the Economical Tsunami in 2008 and 2009.

Google’s border game

Google – the god to, many techies, has another side which is masked from us. Just check the India map @ http://maps.google.co.in/ which is as shown below

The India map when seen through the google maps through their china link which is @ http://duti.google.com/ which is as shown below

The same India map when seen through the google maps through their America link which is @ http://maps.google.com/ which is as shown below

You find any difference. The first one when you see through http://maps.google.co.in/ from India, Google shows a map which has Jammu and Kashmir, Arunachal Pradesh as a part of India. The second one when you see through http://duti.google.com/ from China, Google shows quarter Jammu and Kashmir as a part of Pakistan, another quarter of Jammu and Kashmir and Arunachal Pradesh as a part of China. Whereas when you check the map from America using http://maps.google.com/ they show those regions with the border issue in dotted line. So which is the real map and who is google to do this. Please mail your opposition through Google mail @ press@google.com.

Those who have doubt can check themselves. Using the links that are given in the post. Both Google and Yahoo have a secret pact with China that they wont expose any truth about what's happening in Tibet. Now they are moving into another territory where they are trying to change boundaries of countries itself.

Don't be serious, be sincere."!!

Speech by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis

Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die. ……………….

One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …………….

It's ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, little fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices........." :)

"Don't be serious, be sincere."!!

New phobias for mobile users....

New technical names......for mobile users....extracts from indiatimes....

Nomophobia: The fear of being out of mobile phone contact. It’s the abbreviation for ‘no-mobile-phone phobia.’ It could be a result of low battery, broken phone, a no-cellphones-allowed sign, no signal, low balance, etc.

Phantom Ring: Imagining the mobile to be ringing or feel it vibrating in the pocket, when it’s actually not.

Pocket Patter: Patting your pockets to check if the mobile is still there.

Human Antenna: Stretching your arm to hold the phones at a height in the hope that it’ll get the strongest signal.

What women want...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals.

So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.

But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and

Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden,But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?" She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life." Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom.

Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and,

Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.

"Which would you prefer? She asked him. "Beautiful during the day ... or at night?"

Lancelot pondered the predicament.

During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!

Or,

Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

What Lancelot chose, is given below:

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, ("Is to be in charge of her own life.") He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now... what is the moral to this story?

The moral is...

1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!

2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

So, always remember:

IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY" !!!

Difference among CV, Resume and BioData

Thought this will be useful to people...

Difference among CV, Resume and BioData People use the words RESUME, C.V., and BIO-DATA interchangeably for the
document highlighting skills, education, and experience that a candidate
submits when applying for a job. On the surface level, all the three
mean the same. However, there are intricate differences.

RESUME Resume Is a French word meaning "summary", and true to the word
meaning, signifies a summary of one's employment, education, and other
skills, used in applying for a new position. A resume seldom exceeds one
side of an A4 sheet, and at the most two sides. They do not list out all
the education and qualifications, but only highlight specific skills
customized to target the job profile in question.
A resume is usually broken into bullets and written in the third person
to appear objective and formal. A good resume starts with a brief
Summary of Qualifications, followed by Areas of Strength or Industry
Expertise in keywords, followed by Professional Experience in reverse
chronological order. Focus is on the most recent experiences, and prior
experiences summarized. The content aims at providing the reader a
balance of responsibilities and accomplishments for each position. After
Work experience come Professional Affiliations, Computer Skills, and
Education

C.V CURRICULUM VITAE C.V Is a Latin word meaning "course of life". Curriculum
Vitae (C.V.) is therefore a regular or particular course of study
pertaining to education and life. A C.V. is more detailed than a resume,
usually 2 to 3 pages, but can run even longer as per the requirement. A
C.V. generally lists out every skills, jobs, degrees, and professional
affiliations the applicant has acquired, usually in chronological order.
A C.V. displays general talent rather than specific skills for any
specific positions.
BIO-DATA Bio Data the short form for Biographical Data, is the old-fashioned
terminology for Resume or C.V. The emphasis in a bio data is on personal
particulars like date of birth, religion, sex, race, nationality,
residence, martial status, and the like. Next comes a chronological
listing of education and experience. The things normally found in a
resume, that is specific skills for the job in question comes last, and
are seldom included. Bio-data also includes applications made in
specified formats as required by the company.

A resume is ideally suited when applying for middle and senior level
positions, where experience and specific skills rather than education is
important. A C.V., on the other hand is the preferred option for fresh
graduates, people looking for a career change, and those applying for
academic positions. The term bio-data is mostly used in India while
applying to government jobs, or when applying for research grants and
other situations where one has to submit descriptive essays.

Resumes present a summary of highlights and allow the prospective
employer to scan through the document visually or electronically, to see
if your skills match their available positions. A good resume can do
that very effectively, while a C.V. cannot. A bio-data could still
perform this role, especially if the format happens to be the one
recommended by the employer.

Personal information such as age, sex, religion and others, and hobbies
are never mentioned in a resume. Many people include such particulars in
the C.V. However, this is neither required nor considered in the US
market. A Bio-data, on the other hand always include such personal
particulars.